A Slow Loss…

The subject prompt of loss for Day Four of Writing101.

Whether in a movie, a book or told by an older family member – some of the greatest stories feature loss on central characters to kick off a plot.

There was something that I losing something at an early age in my life that I had not been fully aware of until a decade later when I went to secondary school, never knowing it how important to me until eight years ago.

Going through primary school, I never thought that there was anything wrong with me – nether did any of my friends for there was no obvious markings on me to show that there was a problem. Thinking back now, there were clues but I was too young at the time to fully understand I had a problem that resulted in the loss.  I suppose one of the signs my attention in classes and in the playground, I got on with work and enjoyed mathematics – never truly engaged in conversation with other children too much.

Sometimes I retreated to my own world which at times meant that my parents had to call a few times to get my attention. This resulted in checks with the doctor but I took it all as part of growing up and the others children must be going through the same thing.

Then there was the swimming – now that really should have told me that there wasn’t right. After swimming, I sometimes got these pains in my head which eventually got me sent to hospital to carry out an exploration operation to find what was happening with me – by this point I was in secondary school, going through some more difficulties.

They found something in my ear. They took it out and wrapped me back up, hoping that natural healing will restore the previous loss but when they took that item out there were added problems; more operations with the odds for success not rolling in my favour. It prevented me taking up swimming classes, participating in sports as I was told take care combined with the ability feeling isolated with others – I struggled through secondary school.

Near the end prior to going to University, the doctor’s offered me another chance to try restore the loss – I made my first true adult decision, I decided to live with fact that I had lost the hearing in one of my ears and I was never going to get it back.

Nevertheless, though I had lost part of my hearing that loss has helped shaped me to who I am today – I grew up with this difficulty and found alternative ways for getting round life – watching movies with subtitles expanded my love on foreign cinema, listening to the beats of music and not the lyrics created a different passion, when with someone making more effort to listen to them more by concentrating on their body language for clues and, more importantly ,being able to keep focused at the tasks thrown at me with imagination and logic to fill in the missing gaps.

If someone was to give me the opportunity to go back in time and live the life with full hearing and no hospitals – I would decline. I am comfortable with this loss and wouldn’t want it back. Besides, who knows what tomorrow brings.

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